It was a Sunday in May. I had plans to write. But
It started with guilt, because why the heck am I still in my pjs at 1pm?
And then shame came, because I have a goal and why wasn’t I working towards it?
After berating myself for not doing the thing I had intended (write), I felt motivated to actually get up and drag myself to my laptop.
Then, I stopped myself.
Because I don’t want to live a life when I only move when I’m afraid.
Of “time.”
Of being left behind.
Of being forced to hurry up.
I asked myself this one question: where does your motivation come from?
The answer was clear: Fear.
Fear that if I didn’t “do the thing,” I wasn’t enough.
Oof. That hit me.
There’s been so many moments where I’ve been propelled by fear. And who wants that?
So I told myself that I was enough. I repeated it until I believed it, until I knew that regardless of what I do — I am enough as I am. Even on the slow days. Even when I don’t create. Even when I rest.
And then, from that place of peace… motivation came again. But this time, it wasn’t from fear.
It was from inspiration.
I had the excitement bubble within. I would write because I love it. Not because of any goal I needed to achieve.
So now, whenever I feel pressure or stress or anxiety to “do the thing”, I ask myself this question:
Is your motivation from fear or inspiration?
And that question has CHANGED MY LIFE!
