THE DECK IS FUNDED!

HOW IT ALL STARTED, WHERE IT IS NOW, AND WHERE IT WILL GO!

I’m sitting here, trying to find the right words to explain it all. This project has been incubating for five YEARS. This project started off in a completely different form. I had an idea for a coffee table book—there would be self-portraits and musings, and as an added extra maybe there could be these cute little quotes in card form to go along with it.

But I’m not famous. No one would buy a book of photos of me. And then, would they even care about my life lessons and musings? Probably not.

I re-examined. Shifted focus. What was a really trying to do here?

I wanted to uplift and inspire. I wanted to use my life lessons as a way for people to relate and connect and in turn grow. Yes, we’re getting closer.

I realised the thing I was most excited about was that added extra idea. The cards of quotes. But they’d be more than quotes, they’d be empowering, affirming, almost oracle-ish. Pull a card and receive guidance.

My focus became clear. THIS was the direction.

So I dropped the coffee-table book idea and set my intentions on creating a beautiful empowerment deck.

I started with over 100 quotes. It got messy. I pinned the idea, knowing that time would make things even clearer.

With a little bit of pondering and a lot of time, I had an epiphany. There won’t be one deck. There will be three.

The first one will focus on the tools needed for total self-belief. Confidence, self-acceptance, realising who we are. This one which has just been brought to life!

It’s the start of it all.

The second and third deck will see us finding the flow in day-to-day life and then, shining our bright light to guide others. I hope for a teen deck too. And maybe one more which is still ruminating.

My ultimate goal, is to stop striving for my dreams to come true and start inspiring and guiding others along their journeys of reaching for their dreams.

But for now, the first deck has been given life!

I dreamed of this.

KICKSTARTER PRE-LAUNCH PAGE

The Kickstarter for the Believe Empowerment Deck has an official pre-launch page! Click the link below to get an early peek. Don’t forget to hit the notify me button so you can be notified when the campaign is LIVE.

 
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Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

Sisterhood.

You hear it a lot, “your vibe attracts your tribe”. We see the effects of this saying when we find others who like the same things as us, who believe the same things, who dream the same dreams.

 
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For a while now, I’ve been supported by, inspired by, and felt a connection with two dear friends of mine. Our likes, beliefs, and dreams often seemed to be on the same trajectory. When one of them brought forward her idea, that the three of us should collaborate, it made absolute perfect sense.

And WILD IVY SISTERHOOD was born.

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It was so easy that it’s almost laughable. All each of us had to do was be ourselves and share what we liked, believed, dreamed. And boom, there’s a tribe.

This isn’t just about us, though. Because our dream isn’t just exclusive. Our dream is to create a sisterhood for all the like-hearted women out there who desire this kind of community.

We would love anyone who resonates with this to join us. We are beginning the journey on Instagram.

Follow @wildivysisterhood on Instagram to be a part of the magic and community.

The Power of Self-acceptance (& 3 Tools To Get You Started)

 

The ideal version of ourselves

We all have this ideal version of ourselves. The person we want to be. They’re kind, patient, bold, rich, successful, calm, organised. They have better skin, better hair, better body. They live in a better environment. They say the right things at the right times. They’re just… better.

Most of the time, this version feels separated from who we really are, as though we are constantly chasing them — always a step behind. Sometimes, we catch glimpses of them. In moments when we let our true selves free.

But then we do something that isn’t kind, isn’t patient, isn’t bold, isn’t organised… and we tear ourselves down.

I mean, it’s human nature to evolve over time. Natural growth happens. We are all growing, all learning from our past choices and adjusting ourselves to become this better version. But the problem with this natural evolution is the frustration/guilt/sadness that comes with not being it yet.

And then starts the guilt and feelings of unworthiness.

The internal dialogue

Self-condemnation is real.

How many of you have gone through one day without saying something bad about yourself?

  • I hate the way I just acted, I’m a horrible person

  • I can’t believe I just snapped like that to my own child, what a bad mother I am

  • Eww, I’m going to need to put makeup on today, I feel so gross

  • Man, why couldn’t I have remembered to put the meat out to defrost earlier, I’m such a forgetful idiot

  • I could have done so much today if I wasn’t so lazy, what a waste of a day

  • Why didn’t I engage in that conversation like a normal human, I’m so awkward and weird


The internal self-talk starts and we get stuck in this spiral. “Well, of course I’m not that person. I suck. I’m so far away from that person I want to be it’s actually embarrassing.”

I mean, I get it, these feelings are normal—these emotional reactions are normal. We all do it. But that doesn’t mean it’s right.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be a certain way. When we do things this version wouldn’t, or haven’t achieved the things this version should have, we beat ourselves up for it.

 
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We are all human

But — big breath — it’s okay.

“We all have flaws. We all have qualities. We are all human.”

We all stuff up. We all trip. We all make mistakes. We all do things in our own time. We all over-react. What matters is what we do after the fact. How we treat ourselves and how we treat others in this self-realisation.

Choosing between self-loathing and practising self-acceptance

What happens next? Do we continue on the path of self-loathing or begin to practise self-acceptance? And I say practise, because that’s exactly what it is—a work in progress.

Do we take ourselves further down, repeating harmful put downs? “You’re unhealthy” “You’re unfit” “You’re a bad mother” “You’re lazy” “You’re so far behind everyone else”.

Or, do we decide to take some time to accept ourselves as we are in this very moment? I try and choose this option. And as I said above, we all stuff up sometimes. These options are always at the forefront of my mind. I’m constantly making the conscious choice toward self-acceptance. It’s a hard choice, but the best one.

What is self-acceptance?

On our quest for “self-betterment” the most important of all steps is self-acceptance.

When I talk about self-acceptance I don’t mean finding something you don’t like about yourself and giving up on changing it. Like, I don’t mean saying “I’ve applied for so many jobs and not one response, I’ll just have to accept that I’m unemployable.”

No. That isn’t what I mean about accepting yourself.

What I mean is, we need to accept ourselves for where we’re at right now.

I think we’re all perfect the way we are. Imperfect is perfect. And that’s where our self-talk needs to veer toward.

Here are 3 ways to practise self-acceptance

Use any or all.

  1. Shift into a positive perspective

    When this guilt and frustration and feeling of unworthiness flares up, we need to take a moment to heed the signals firing through our body. Our emotions are a regulator-—the “check engine” light. When we feel bad, it’s our body telling us that we need to take some time to rejuvinate and reassess.

    We have the signal. Now what?

    Change up your internal dialogue. Instead of getting down on ourselves, we need to shift it into gratitude.

    Instead of saying, “I suck,” say, “I’m a work in progress.”

    Instead of saying, “I’m lazy,” say, “I’m glad I listened to my body when it told me to rest.”

    Instead of saying, “I’m such a bad mother for yelling at my kids,” say, “I’m grateful for these emotions that give me signs that something isn’t quite right within me.”


    See where I’m going with this? It’s a slight change in perspective. That’s all it takes.

  2. Align with your higher self

    The biggest breakthroughs of my life happened in the still moments of alignment with my higher self. Now, this may seem cuckoo to some, but I want to give you all the tools I’ve learned… so here’s what I do.

    I sit alone in a quiet room. All devices are away or turned off. I take a few deep breaths to centre myself and still my mind.

    I close my eyes and imagine this ideal version sitting opposite me. I say something like, “I stuffed up. I was snappy to someone I care about.” Or, “I have these big goals and none of them have been met.” Then, and this is the kicker, I listen to how this better version of me responds.

    Now remember, she’s calm and patient and kind and bold and everything I ever want to be (that’s what we need to give ourselves). So, she says things like, “That’s okay, you’re human. The fact that you feel guilty, shows that you care.” And, “Your productivity is not your worth. You are exactly where you need to be.”

    When I start saying nice things to myself, I instantly feel better. The spiral is stopped in its tracks.

    The best thing about the whole interaction is, when I open my eyes I realise that the whole time it was me. I have stepped into this ideal version of myself… I am her. Always had been. And she is always accessible to me, even when I feel less than.

    Try it.

  3. Use this mantra

    I’ve saved the most powerful tool for last.

    Take the thing that you’re down on yourself for, whatever is stopping you from truly loving yourself, and say this: “Even though I [insert your own words here], I fully and completely love and accept myself.”

    Ouch. It pinches. Because in that moment we don’t feel lovable or worthy or living up to our potential.

    Say it again.

    Keep saying it, over and over until you feel the shift. It may hurt at first. And it does because something is moving inside you. We resist change for protection, but sometimes change is exactly what we need.

    Push through it.

    Say this mantra on repeat — a hundred times if you have to — until you truly believe it. I’ve cried doing it. Bawled, actually. But what happens is… you fully and completely love and accept yourself. It’s a great feeling. It’s a powerful feeling.

    You forgive yourself for being human and you step into this truthful version of yourself that you’ve always wanted to be.

Even though I made a mistake, I fully and completely love and accept myself.

EVEN THOUGH I LIVE PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK, I FULLY AND COMPLETELY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.

EVEN THOUGH MY BODY DOESN’T LOOK THE WAY I WANT IT TO, I FULLY AND COMPLETELY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.

EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT WHERE I THOUGHT I’D BE, I FULLY AND COMPLETELY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.

We can’t all be born with it all

We can’t be born with complete self-awareness, self-control, and self-regulation. It all comes with growth. Next time you are mean to yourself, come back to these tools and they’ll make you feel a whole heap better about where you are at.

After self-acceptance…

Comes massive growth!!

 

Five Steps To Creating On Purpose

Writers block. Friends, it's real. And I think I've found the solution. Bear with me...

Ideas come to me regularly - so many "aha" moments at any given moment - but sometimes, when it's time to sit down and actually form the words, I choke. Well I used to, anyway. 

I would stare at my screen and my mind was filled with either absolutely nothing or way too many irrelevant things. I became distracted, stagnant, aimless, hello candy crush.

 
 

I wondered why the answer to life's problems (aka a plot hole) always came to me when I least expected it?

  • Driving. Often I'd be struck with an idea to incorporate into my current novel series. You know, something that had been lacking in the world I created but didn’t know how to remedy. Months of re-writing the first draft, and baam, there was the answer on the road between home and the hairdressers.

  • Dancing. Other times, I would simply be having a happy dance moment in my living room when I received an epiphany about a random area in my life.

  • Shower. I'd be washing my hair listening to the new Coldplay album and all of a sudden, this wonderful dialogue between two characters started to take shape.

I thought, “You know what? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to control this part of me that creates, without having to wait for a sudden inspiration to hit? If I could seek it and for it to be there when I wanted, not when I’m freaking driving my car or having a shower!” Yes, yes that would be nice.

The first question I asked myself was how on earth could I call the inspiration to me, instead of waiting for it to hit me out of the blue? This led me to quiet contemplation and a fair bit of reverse engineering. And finally, I discovered the subconscious things I had been doing when I create.

And here, my friends, are the five purposeful steps that make up my creative process –from inspiration, to clarification, to motivation, to creation, to gratification – and how I think they may be of use to you. If you're a writer or any kind of creator.

INSPIRATION? BRING IT ON!

STEP ONE. Identify.

First of all, we need to identify when we get random moments of inspiration and what we are doing so differently during these times. For me, it’s mostly when I am driving, in the shower, about to go to sleep.

You know at the most inconvenient times, where I have to either scramble to write it all down as soon as I can, or put a pin in it and risk forgetting the whole grand idea.

It’s also when I’m most relaxed, and doing something else that I enjoy. Aha! Are you following me here?

You know what else I’m feeling at these times? Open, and free, and I’m not thinking about anything except the present moment. I think I'm on to something here. The pre-requisite for inspiration is this exact feeling! The feeling of not needing to be anywhere else at that moment, the feeling of not needing to even consider what’s on that to-do list let alone what’s next to check off. It’s just melting into the moment we are currently in. Which can only mean, when I’m sitting down to write I am not feeling any of those things – I am closed and sporadic with my thoughts. This discovery was the light bulb moment for me.

Here’s my current go to list that spark ideas:

  • scenic drive

  • carefree dancing

  • laying on the trampoline watching the clouds roll by

  • a walk around the block

  • gardening (this is new!!)

  • relaxing shower

  • laying in bed

  • reading

  • meditating

What’s yours?

Conclusion: Inspiration comes when we are doing something that requires us to slow down and embrace the RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, something that stills the mind yet opens the heart.

 

"The Pre-Requisite For Inspiration Is The Feeling Of Being Open And Free."

A LITTLE CLARIFICATION PLEASE.

STEP TWO: Filter.

This is how I see it, and it’s a little odd but bare with me. Imagine a large funnel sitting on the top of your head: it’s open, it’s ready and waiting. This is where the ideas flow in. I believe it comes from God/the Universe/Spiritual Realm and when I am open the ideas can come to me easily. If you don’t believe in any of that, it doesn’t really matter – these steps will still work no matter where your faith stems. From heaven or our own minds; whatever you believe, the process is the same.

So now we are open, we’ve done step one and we’re in a present state of mind, allowing thoughts to come and go at will. We’re not mindless; our brains are receptive, yet nothing is forced. There is no desperation. No deadline. No drama. We’re not thinking about creating, there are no preconceived notions of how something should be to guide us.

Our imagination explores it’s way out into the funnel. After a thought enters our minds, we consider whether we like it or not. If we don’t, we let them leave as soon as they arrived. But if they pique our interest, we sit with them for a second. If we feel that bubble of excitement for it’s possibility – we let them flow into our hearts. The heart is most obviously the creation centre – where ideas grow into projects, words, photos, art, songs, etc.

This is your filter. For me, if the idea makes it's way past my head into my heart - I'm onto a winner.

Then, we write the idea down. ALWAYS WRITE THE DAMN IDEA DOWN.

 

“The Heart Is Most Obviously The Creation Centre – Where Ideas Grow Into Projects.”

— MOST IMPORTANT NOTE: Unless we possess the superhuman ability to complete a whole book/project in one sitting, we never have the time to finish the idea straight away. Especially as a writer, it can take weeks/months/years to finish a project. Most of the time, we are already busy with another project and the only opportunity we have is to write the idea down and come back to it later. Even if we somehow manage to get started at this stage, everyday we have to put the tools away and let the creation rest until the next day. Which leads me to the most vital step …

MOTIVATE ME BABY!

STEP THREE. Repeat step one.

So we had the initial spark and we really really, oh lordy, really want to see this project through. But Lord knows how hard it is to find the motivation to pick it up. Hi, my name is Danielle and I’m a procrastinator.

I feel like sometimes creating things scares me. I know I love it, I know it calls me. When I’m amidst it all I get into this hypnotic type state and am absorbed in creating for hours at a time. But when I set aside the time and I’m ready to get down and dirty and spill those ideas outside of me, it takes a lot of hard work. A lot of procrastinating, a lot of distractions, a lot of building myself up for it. See the very first paragraph up there (Candy Crush, *cough*, Pinterest, *cough*, curse you Facebook and your addicting ways).

Have you ever wondered how some creatives are successful with the arts and some are not. I feel like I am on the verge on understanding why. Those who are successful don’t stop when they’re feeling blah, they find their own motivation. I think this step right here is KEY.

And what is this step? It’s exactly the same as the first. Do the thing that sparked the idea in the first place. It doesn’t have to be the same thing, but some action you know gets you into that open and calm, yet excited state. We need to remember to bring ourselves into the present moment and really enjoy it, we don’t have anywhere else to be (Facebook and emails and Netflix can wait).

Even our end goal can wait – sometimes desperation and yearning and fear causes the inspiration funnel to block. Published and wannabe published authors I'm looking at you. Stop looking at your book as though it will be a best seller. Stop squashing your creativity by giving your story the burden to make you money. Stop writing for the potential agent who might possibly put your book on their list. Those thoughts dry inspiration right up, and also attach fear to your writing. Yuck. No-one wants to read a book written by a scared writer. Those things matter, of course marketing and sales matter, but not at this stage. Not yet. 

What matters at this stage is being open and in charge of the "flow" of inspiration.

I have this song I love. I play it when I write. So now, whenever I hear it, it takes me straight to that feeling of writing. Instant inspiration. Find something that will take you there – really define your list of go-to actions that still and free your mind.

 

"Those Who Are Successful Don’t Stop When They’re Feeling Blah, They Find Their Own Motivation."

WE’RE INSPIRED AGAIN, NOW WHAT? 

STEP FOUR. Make ze art.

This step is the most important, I think. It's the place where ideas wither and die, or the place where they come to life.

Once we get to that space of “YES! This idea, it’s awesome – there’s nothing else I want to think about right now than doing this!” That’s when we know we need to move. And I mean right away.

Get it out. For the love of all things beautiful, don’t just leave it inside. We need to choose our desired art-form (mostly writing or design for me) and bring it to life. Friends, this is why we are creatives, to create.

The most lame yet simplest thing to do is JUST START. It bugs me with how simple it is. Like can’t there be some sort of incantation or click of the fingers that can suddenly switch me into work mode. But there is no other way. It’s that hard and that easy. JUST BEGIN. The funny thing is, once I type the first word the rest of them flow like cider on a hot day.

 

“…There Is No Other Way. It’s That Hard And That Easy. JUST BEGIN.”

AND THEN? ARE WE DONE YET?

STEP FIVE. Share. Hit Publish.

With a friend, to an agent, online, in a gallery, to the world – big or small, just share. Don’t deny the world this glorious part of you. 

I'll give you a tip: a person's reaction to your work, isn’t where your gratification comes from. I can tell you, my joy comes from creating. Sure, I want my books to resonate and delight and inspire but that isn’t why I wrote them. I write because every idea ignites a fire within me, and I just have to bring them to life.

Airy fairy unicorn moment. Every idea is a brilliant chrysalis; it contains a butterfly that needs to be birthed and set free to fly where the wind takes it. It’s not up to me who the butterfly connects with, but it’s also not up to me to keep it hidden from sight.

So, put it out there, let that beauty fly free... and then? Start the process again. This is what we are made for.

 

“It’s Not Up To Me Who The Butterfly Connects With, But It’s Also Not Up To Me To Keep It Hidden From Sight.”

FINAL THOUGHTS

And that is my process. I’ve done it for a long time without even realising, but putting it into context, into steps, has helped me ten-fold.

I can push through the writer's block and sail through the steps without pause. Practise is needed obviously, but being aware is the main thing.

I was dancing to electro music when I had the urge to write this post. Irony is, I’d had the idea to write it for a while but could never get the motivation for it, I could never find the words. But moving and being in the present moment allowed the spark to ignite. I followed my own steps, and it worked, here I am. 

Next time I get stuck in a creative rut, I know exactly what I am going to do. Stick that crazy funnel on my head and get active. Get out into nature, put my nose in a book, soak in the beautiful surroundings of the state I live in, lay on a trampoline and watch the clouds roll by, dance dance dance … and always, always, always carry a notepad and pen.